Everyone is talking about the importance of human skills in the age of AI. We know that AI can automate information, summarize data, and write content in seconds. But what it can’t do is make that human connection, which still is the number one driver of employee engagement, retention, and performance.
But here’s the question very few people are asking:
Can emotional intelligence become too much of a good thing?
The answer is yes.
Because every emotional intelligence strength has what psychiatrist Carl Jung called a shadow side.
High empathy can become rescuing.
High assertiveness can become domination.
High self-awareness can become self-absorption.
Let’s look at three emotional intelligence skills that when overused or left unchecked become problematic.
Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and care about what others are thinking or feeling.
Now, how could this be a problem?
It becomes a problem when caring turns into rescuing.
Sales leaders with heightened empathy often become skilled at rationalizing mediocre performance and accepting non-productive selling behaviors.
“Joe has a lot going on in his life…I’ll cut him some slack.”
So, you lower the sales goal. Accept excuses when deadlines aren’t met. Avoid holding accountability conversations because you don’t want to add pressure.
The reality? Everyone has something going on.
Joe may not need more empathy. He could use help with priority management. Or insights and education on how to better manage stress.
When empathy moves from understanding to enabling, leadership effectiveness declines.
Research from PubMed Central shows empathy without boundaries can contribute to emotional exhaustion and burnout. And many leaders are headed in that direction. But remember, it’s hard to fill someone else’s tank when you are running on empty.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is one of the most important communication skills in leadership because it’s the ability to state what you need — nicely.
But highly assertive sales leaders can unintentionally dominate meetings. I know. I’ve been that leader in a meeting.
They are the first to give their opinion on a new initiative rather than sitting back and hearing what others have to contribute. Often, this isn’t because they believe they are the smartest person in the room.
It’s because they are passionate about the topic. And in some cases, this passion turns into aggressiveness.
Passion can make a person dogmatic about their position. Their body language gets more intense along with their tonality, emotionally triggering others in the room.
What happens next?
The sales team shuts down and moves into go along to get along mode. “I’m not going to speak up just to be shut down.”
The sales manager believes they have buy-in, when in reality, they’ve created a team that nods yes in meetings and then goes back to doing what they planned to do anyway. Nothing changes and the “assertive” sales leader is frustrated and puzzled as to why their clear (aggressive) communication on their perspective isn’t creating positive outcomes.
Self-Awareness
I often refer to self-awareness as the mega-skill of emotional intelligence.
It’s the ability to recognize what you are thinking and feeling — and understand how those emotions affect how you show up.
The challenge?
A highly self-aware sales leader can accidentally drift into self-absorption.
This looks like:
- Over-analyzing every conversation.
- Becoming overly concerned with how they are perceived.
- Spending more time processing feelings than taking action.
- Replaying difficult interactions long after they are over.
The difference is simple:
Self-awareness improves performance because it creates insight.
Self-absorption hurts performance because it creates obsession.
The goal isn’t to lower emotional intelligence. The goal is balanced emotional intelligence.
Leadership isn’t about maximizing every strength. It’s about managing strengths, so they don’t become liabilities.
In the age of AI, human skills matter more than ever. But the best sales leaders know this truth:
Your greatest strength, when overused, can quietly become your greatest weakness.
Good Selling and Leading!